As a family member or friend, caring for a patient with mesothelioma may be one of the hardest things you've ever done. Few people have nursing or counseling experience, and many of us get through most of our adult lives without experiencing the seriously illness or death of a loved one. However, you need not "go it alone" as the only person caring for a patient with mesothelioma; there are resources and professionals available to help you.

The Patient and the Caregivers

There is the patient to think about, of course — it may be your husband or wife, your parent, your child, your brother or sister. But there are other people to think about too when you're caring for a patient with mesothelioma — you, and any other members of the patient's family who are involved or affected.

Decisions to Make

Decisions must be made about the patient's medical care, about treatment, and where the treatment will be administered. You may feel that you're still in the dark about what treatments are available, or perhaps all of the aspects of the patient's medical care have already been determined. In any case, there are several things you can do to make the best of a difficult situation as you're caring for a patient being treated for mesothelioma:

• Learn everything you can about mesothelioma — Its symptoms, the progression of the disease, what you can expect; its causes, its prognosis. Ask doctors. Use the Internet.

• Ask about treatments — What works, what doesn't, what is new, whether there are clinical trials in your area offering a new treatment

• Get support —Counselors, social workers, and nursing and caregiver resources can help. Some of these resources are free. Contact the Veterans Administration for help if the patient is a vet. Look for support groups made of other people who are caring for a loved one with a terminal disease.

• Get organized — Caring for a patient with mesothelioma often involves several medications to be administered according to a schedule, and mealtimes won't be as casual as they may once have been. Keep a diary.

• Get answers — There are legal needs such as healthcare power of attorney, a will, and do-not-resuscitate forms to consider. Find a lawyer who has experience with end-of-life preparations.

• Take care of yourself — It's far too easy to get "burned out" when spending so much of your time and energy on caring for a patient with mesothelioma, and perhaps caring for the rest of your family. Don't forget to take care of yourself. Talking with a therapist or counselor can be very helpful. Keep in touch with friends and family. Don't be reluctant to ask for help, or for a shoulder to cry on.

• Get advice — Many other people have been through this before you; get their outlook on how best to deal with it all. They understand what you're going through.

• See an attorney — There may be legal recourse for a person whose mesothelioma was caused by exposure to asbestos, for instance. Monetary compensation for medical care costs and other losses may be available. Contact an attorney to discuss your situation and explore your legal options.

• Be strong — Caring for a patient with mesothelioma requires strength, patience, and courage. Both the patient and his or her caregivers are most likely dealing with a lot of difficult emotions, but it is always possible to help a mesothelioma sufferer deal with life and with death in a dignified, comfortable manner.